If I Were to Start a Blog in Two Thousand and Nineteen

it would look like this. A simple design on a minimalist platform with a witty URL.

Posegnula bih za time da pišem o pisanju (blog about blogging). I would write in the languages I know, as well as Sprache ich weiss nicht. Ok... Ein bisschen, aber schlecht. I would check whether my spelling and grammar is correct and change it accordingly. I would postpone starting into February and not worry about it. I would coyly mention it once to others, just to get a taste of local opinion and feign accountability. I would write several drafts, but in the end opt for what I wrote last from scratch. I would try to pass that as an artistic methodology.

a planner with notes all those unused notes...

In other words, here it is! A blog! A collection of words hosted on a server somewhere in the world, accessible to many others in whichever part of the world! In a language that is disgustingly widespread, but also convenient! Look at it! Look at these words! Look at this charming self-irony and how swiftly am I ready to mention how I'm not responsible for the contemporary western trends that love debilitating attitudes and meaning that goes as deep as 2D, unless the meaning is something manipulative and invasive! Look at me trying to say 'I know self-irony is basic, but by knowing and expressing that knowledge, I can flip it into something fresh and worth reading'! After all, blogging is in crisis! The web is in crisis! The world is in crisis! I am I crisis!

Please. Ever since the first online blogging platforms I used, LiveJournal and DeadJournal, beginning in two thousand and three (amazingly, both of those still exist – one is Russian-owned, while the other still has the same design it did sixteen years ago), I have been in crisis. Even before that, I had been in crisis. However, there is one thing I heard and one thing I said during the bus ride I took today, that I feel are useful to mention now. First is the question of why does a person expose themselves like that (by having your writing posted in a visible place where perhaps even two thousand people read it maybe). Second is the notion that continuously shuffling and developing things in your life instead of settling in and living could be tied or close to the creative urge.

old deadjournal posts from 2006 riveting high school experiences

So, I am in crisis because I am creative and I am exposing myself because I think I can simultaneously share my thoughts, keep my privacy and make it worth everyone's time.

With that thought, I leave you and myself until Tuesday (maybe the accountability is not feigned).